I am my worst enigma

Over the last couple of weeks I have felt so, so, so, AHHHH, so I cant even describe it. I feel like I am on a freakin manic rollercoaster, and I cant freakin get off it. I mean even worse than usual, because usually I will have good days, bad days, but now it is by the minute, one minute I have everything under control, and then BAM, a thousand irrational thoughts flying through my head. I can bring it under control, then it goes away, and then WAM, I feel really depressed, and I cant control it and then it comes under control, it is like, like, I just cant describe it. But at least I can control it. I think part of it may be the obvious anxiety of change, I mean in the last couple of weeks alot has caused a good amount of stress, because I had inventory last week, and it didnt go as well as I wanted, and there was alot of tension in reconciliation, yeah it was not fun. Then with school starting and the I am trying to figure out how I am going to pay for Grad school and trying to prepare for it, and what I should do with my job, which is stressful on a good day, and totally hell on a bad day. Then to add insult to injury, I had found like, THE BEST, psychologist, who totally connected with me and totally understood me, well he is leaving and so now I have to go to a new psychologist, which I am sure will be a good experience, but is a additive to my anxiety. Of course the three to four hours of sleep a night, not exactly in a row. It is just getting really old, and I have total faith that God has given me tons of strength, and I have so taken to the wristband that we got from the Roots campaign, that says PRAY CONTINUALLY, which is one thing I have pushed for and it has given me the strength to appear normal to other people, but I still am getting tired of the manic roller coaster, I wish I had words to explain totally, but anyway, maybe I will addendum later but for now I have to go.